You're Not Broken, You're Just Accepting the Wrong TV

I'm still thinking about something that came through in our last Vagrein session, and it's been bouncing around in my head ever since.

We had two questions come up that I think most of you are going to relate to on a pretty deep level. One was about whether you can actually believe in Law of Attraction when everything you were raised to believe is the complete opposite. And the other one was about why we keep settling for people who aren't right for us even when we know better.

Let's get into it.

"I Keep Going Back and Forth Between Believing and Doubting"

One of our members said something so honest and so real during the Q&A: I wasn't raised with any of this. Law of Attraction is completely foreign to everything I was taught growing up. And now I get it intellectually, I want to believe it, but one minute I'm there and the next minute I'm not. Is there a key to actually landing in the belief and staying there?

And Vagrein's answer kind of flipped the whole question upside down, which I love.

They pointed out that she had actually already manifested a pretty nice life. Which means the Law of Attraction was already working whether she believed in it or not. Because here's the thing: it's not a spiritual law. It's just a law. Like gravity. It doesn't care if you believe in it or understand it. It just works.

The way Vagrein put it was that if you're in a space where you can see opportunities, where you're generally pleasant with people, where you tend toward optimism, life takes a lucky trajectory. And if you're not, it doesn't. We already intuitively understand this, we just don't connect it to what we're talking about when we say manifestation.

But the part that really got me was this: they weren't asking her to overhaul her belief system overnight. They said, what if you just experiment with it? What if you follow what feels good more often and see if the results match up with what you're being taught?

That's such a low-stakes way to enter into this. No pressure to be a perfect believer. No requirement to have it all figured out. Just: try it. See what happens. Collect data.

Because the truth is, the all-or-nothing thinking around belief is itself a kind of block. You don't have to believe completely. You just have to be willing to stay curious.

The Broken Television (This One Got Me)

Another member asked about someone she'd been spending time with, someone she knew wasn't right for her, knew didn't share her values, knew was kind of the opposite of what she actually wanted. But she was tired of being alone. And she wanted to understand why she kept manifesting people like this.

Vagrein didn't mince words. They said: you're not attracting the opposite of yourself, you're attracting exactly what's correct for you in this moment. And the lesson it came with was that you don't need to let this person have a seat at your table.

And then they went into this analogy that I have to share with you word for word basically, because it's that good.

They said: imagine you ordered a television. And the wrong one showed up. The color display is broken, the green is coming through as brown. You know it's broken. You don't even like watching it. But you're tired of going back and forth with the postal office, and it would take another two weeks to get the right one, and what if that one has something wrong with it too, so you just... keep the broken TV. And you watch all your nature documentaries in brown.

And then Vagrein said: there are books on your bookshelf. There are many things you can do while you wait for the right television to be delivered.

The only thing you're doing by keeping the television you don't like is making sure you don't have space on your wall for the one you actually want.

It's not even about the other person. It's not about them being bad or broken or whatever. It's about the fact that when we're tired and we're lonely and we've been waiting, we start accepting things that we know, we know, are not what we're actually looking for. And then we wonder why the right thing isn't arriving.

Vagrein also said something that really hit me: "Is it not a little insulting to your ideal partner to be settling for less?"

Like your ideal person is out there, and you're so busy being disappointed by the wrong television that you're not even paying attention to the doorbell.

What I Keep Coming Back To

Both of these answers, even though they're about very different things, point to the same underlying thing: compassion. Compassion for yourself while you're in the not-knowing. Compassion for yourself while you're in the between. Compassion for yourself when you believe, and compassion for yourself when you don't.

You're not behind. You're not failing at this. You're collecting data. You're figuring out what you actually want. And sometimes that requires a broken television or two to show you how clear you actually are about what you don't want.

That clarity? That's not wasted time. That's the map.

So wherever you are right now, whether you're doubting and coming back to belief for the hundredth time, or holding space for someone you know isn't right, I just want to say: you're not broken. You're just in the middle of the process. And the process is perfect, even when it doesn't feel like it.

I'm so grateful for everyone who showed up and asked such honest, vulnerable questions. This is why I love this community so much.

See you at the next one.

Jessie

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