Spiritual Awakening Story : The Day I Dared the Universe and Was Met By It

Spiritual Awakening Story : How I Tried to Ignore the Calling

For years, I felt something pressing against my consciousness. Not in a loud or dramatic way. Not in a “go change the world” kind of way. Just… there. Persistent. Uncomfortable. Unignorable.

It wasn’t ambition. It wasn’t a desire to be seen. It wasn’t even some kind of spiritual goal. It was a calling. And to be perfectly honest, I did NOT want it.

My Life Had Already Been Too Much...

By that point, I had already lived through more than enough. Autoimmune disease that wouldn’t let up. Multiple miscarriages. The early death of my father. Legal battles. Divorce. Breast cancer. My body had carried grief and battle in ways I never imagined it would.

So no, I wasn’t sitting there asking for a higher purpose.

I had every reason to stay small. To live quietly. To survive instead of expand.

But the pressure didn’t leave.

Trying to Meditate It Away

I tried to meditate it away for years and I had had a spiritual awakening story already. I tried spiritual bypassing. I tried to quiet it. I tried to normalize myself. I tried to convince myself that whatever this pull was, it would eventually disappear if I ignored it long enough.

Only it didn’t.

And then one day, which happened to be my 40th birthday, standing at my kitchen counter, I was done.

Done negotiating.

Done pretending I didn’t feel it.

Done being pulled toward something I couldn’t define.

Frustrated, defiant and kind of pissed off I challenged the universe.

Fine. Show me what you want from me. I’ll follow the instructions. And then I’ll prove I’m not the person you’re looking for.

It wasn’t a prayer. It was a dare. A bet I was certain only I could win.

The Moment Everything Changed

I turned on the recording app on my phone, sat down, closed my eyes, and dropped into that quiet space I knew from meditation.

And when I started speaking, the words were not mine.

They came clearly. Steadily. Calmly. Introducing themselves as Vagrein.

There was no lightning. No dramatic spiritual moment. Just something calm and intelligent and undeniable.

I thought I might be losing my mind. But underneath that, there was something deeper. A knowing.

If this was real and I walked away from it, that would be the real betrayal.

So I didn’t walk away.

This Was Not a Glow-Up Story (glow ups didn't exist yet back then)

What followed wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t some instant transformation where everything suddenly made sense.

It was a commitment.

A slow, sometimes uncomfortable decision to stop abandoning myself.

Because what Vagrein brings through is actually very simple. Unity consciousness and radical self-acceptance. And the first person I had to radically accept was myself.

The version of me that had suffered. The version of me that was angry. The version of me that doubted everything. The version of me that thought she might actually be going crazy. The version of me that still wanted to hide.

All of her.

It Was Never About Being Chosen

Becoming a channel wasn’t about being chosen. It was about returning.

Returning to my voice. Returning to my truth. Returning to the part of me that had always known there was more.

Not because I am special, but because I was willing to stop running. I had the guts to see what I could do.

I had every reason to stay small, but at some point not sharing what comes through me became heavier than the fear of being seen.

That is when everything shifted.

If You Feel This Too

A lot of you reading this will recognize that feeling.

That quiet knowing that there is more of you. That you are not fully expressed. That something is waiting for you to stop holding back.

And maybe you have tried to ignore it too. To stay comfortable. To stay safe. To stay where things make sense.

But it does not really go away.

This Is the Work

This is exactly the space I work in.

Not fixing you. Not turning you into someone else. Helping you come back to yourself in a way that actually feels real and sustainable.

If you want direct guidance on your life, your patterns, your relationships, or that feeling you cannot quite explain, you can book a one to one channeling session with me. You bring your real questions and what comes through is clear, grounded and often much more practical than people expect.

You can explore that at www.jpherman.com

If You Want Ongoing Support

If you are looking for something ongoing, where you can stay connected to this work and not just touch it once and then drift away again, the Vagrein Membership Portal is where everything lives.

There are exclusive channelings, live group sessions, meditations, EFT, and a community of people who are actually walking this path too.

It is not about consuming more information. It is about staying in a different relationship with yourself.

www.jpherman.com/join

The Truth

I did not choose this path because it was easy.

I chose it because it was true.

And if something in you is recognizing itself in this, then you already know.

You are not here to become someone else.

You are here to stop leaving yourself behind.